
.David Letterman

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Shorties Watching ShortiesThe doctor checks him over and says, "The problem is your penis is too big and it's pulling down on your vocal cord and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off."
Travis says, "W-w-whatever it t-t-takes".
Six weeks later Travis goes back to the doctor and says, "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me. So I want you to put it back on."
The doctor says, "D-d-drop d-d-dead."
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Tony Bennett & Amy Winehouse - Body And Soul
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Cavalcade of Rednecks
In April, Robert Hohenberger, 64, was arrested in Clayton County, Ga., for shooting a neighbor's dog with a BB gun after complaining that he was tired of the Chihuahua "pooping" in his yard. The neighbor, Leticia Mendoza, told police that her dog was innocent, in that Casey had actually relieved himself inside right before she let him out. [WSB-TV (Atlanta), 4-11-2011]
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
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